Do children always like it when we hug, touch, or squish their cheeks? Do you always ask for their permission before doing it? Bodily rights is not exclusively for adults; it applies to children, too.
As a kindergarten teacher, my day is always full of children. Their cute and unique acts and small bodies urge adults to touch, hug, squish their cheeks, and kiss. Yet, I hold myself back because I realize that they have bodily rights. Whenever I want to hug or kiss them, I ask for their permission.
“Can I hug you, Ustazah?” I will ask them.
Some would agree; but I also get rejected several times through their gestures or words. I will not force them if they refuse because I respect their decision.
Maybe most of us will think that we do not need their permission. “Why do we need to ask? They will not understand, especially kindergarten students.” Most of the time, we make our own assumptions based on their cute acts.
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Our response when meeting children is usually considered as everyday acts, including in the family sphere, with teachers, neighbors, or strangers. However, teachers—in fact—often forget that children also have their rights. It leads them to touch children all the time. Those kinds of things tend to be normalized and seen as a form of care. The problem is, do children want it? Have we, as teachers or adults in general, ever asked permission for it?
Children’s Body Authorization is Just as Important
The body is God’s gift that should be thankful for and protected. Every person has authority over their body, and we can’t allow people to touch it without permission.
Yet, sometimes, adults always forget that children also have rights over their own body. The thoughts that they don’t understand are constantly imprinted on our minds. So, we usually feel as if we’re free to touch or kiss them.
I believe we should teach children to understand their body rights when they can. We can start by inviting them to discuss it, such as teaching them the names of body parts and their functions. We can teach them to mention their genitalia as the name, such as penis, vagina, and breast, not disguise it. Maybe it can be a challenge for us to say it because sexual education is still considered a taboo topic in society, but it is God’s gift.
Next, we should teach children to speak it respectfully. Children should respect their bodies and others. They should ask permission for every activity related to the body. In addition, they can refuse other people to touch them, such as kisses and hugs, if they feel uncomfortable. It will teach them to do the same.
If adults can respect children, they will do the same, such as asking permission. The children will appreciate the act.
Privacy Over the Body
Children also need to understand the concept of privacy. We can teach them after they know the body’s parts. For example, they should realize some parts of the body are to be kept private, such as the penis and vagina.
Next, we can habituate it while they change their clothes or pee. They should do it privately so others cannot see their private area. While all of it can be a challenge, it can also become a teaching moment between children and us. If they ask about the body, we can use it as an opportunity.
Becoming parents can be challenging because it is a lifetime work. At the same time, the world is changing; we should protect children by teaching them about privacy and respect for themselves and other people. That way, they can grow up with those values.
Let’s make sure that children are free from sexual harassment, be it as the victims or perpetrators.
